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Most of my friends are starting to sound like stuck records. "Shucks, so and so is getting married can you believe it?" "Natasha mang mang just had a baby!" "I don’t have a man and I’m nearly 30." "I'm having a quarter life crisis!"
Slowly wild girls nights out are being replaced by baby showers and engagement parties...in that order too.
This is the age where supposedly a massive clock grows at the back of every woman's mind and all you hear, all day, is tick-tock...tick-tock...tick tock. And if you don't have a shiny rock on your finger or a baby on the way, girl, you are trailing behind.
The advent of Facebook doesn't help. All these losers from high school look you up and so the questions begin...
Do you a Phd? Do you have life insurance? Are you married or maybe engaged? Have you travelled the world? Do you have kids or at least a donor? Not even the name of a sperm bank?
"It's none of you darn business!" I feel like yelling. (Perhaps I should display it as my permanent status)
The pressure mounts from all angles
You start having doubts. You start doubting your doubts. I've been carrying on merrily with my business, just doing my thing. Suddenly everyone expects me to have done all these things.
I have my own questions.
"What if this is not what I want for me right now or even ever, does that make me abnormal?
"Why is it that I’m made to feel that everything I’ve achieved is not enough for my age? Based on what?"
"Is it the same for guys, is there an age where the world expects you to be a real man?"
I know what I’ve done with my life, I know what my plans are. They have timelines based on what is realistic in my world. Not based on a number or what my parents or society expect. I don’t want kids now and if my boyfriend doesn’t buy me a big shiny rock, then I’ll buy myself one. Maybe I live in denial but there’s so much to do and it's one less thing to worry about.
And if life begins at 40 then why don’t we just brace ourselves for the ride?
How are you handling getting older? Please share below. We all need remedies.
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| I just turned 32. No boyfriend, no fiancee, no husband, no kids. I have a job, I am co-owner of a house (investment) and I live to my fullest potential! Always busy doing stuff, learning new stuff, talking about stuff, the world, people, everything, anything! I enjoy my life! The clock is sitting on my one shoulder and I am sitting on the other ... whatever comes, whenever it comes ... I'll cross that bridge with everything in tact when I get there!!! But for now ... I live and love my life!!! | ||
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| Mariska on 20 Aug at 15:13 |
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| So basically you're saying that life begins when you get married and have kids? | ||
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| Melissa on 20 Aug at 15:34 |
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| My advice to my kids one day...don't get married before 30 (unless of course it's absolutely 'the one', and yes, you'll know when it is). But we change so much in our late 20's - both men and women. Most women nearing 30 prob will have some degree of angst about it. It's a milestone, no more excuses to not be an adult - so you'll tend to review your life. The great news is that it's FAB post-30! You're more confident and comfortable in your own skin, no matter what your marital or professional status is. I'm looking forward to what the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's and hopefully the 80's will have in store. I believe your spirit stays as young as you feel...it's the wisdom and experiences along the way that makes life so amazing. | ||
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| Dominique on 20 Aug at 17:01 |
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| Great story. As a person over 40 I love the energy of younger people, it keeps me enthusiastic too. But I am definitely calmer about the small stuff than I was 15 years ago. | ||
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| Adele on 21 Aug at 09:43 |
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| It's scary. I'm 22 and already I'm hearing mang mang is getting married and so so is having children. It's frightening because the questions asked are: "Who are you with?" and "Are you engaged yet?" Jeez people, I just want to get a degree right now. I just came out of being a teenager. | ||
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| Kele on 21 Aug at 11:13 |
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| I am 34 and loving it! I have a boyfriend who has stopped proposing on me because I say NO. I dont want to be married, I dont want to have kids. I am happy with my career and my boyfriend and my family. I do not even envy the married and the baby glamor, I had my tubes tied just to make sure I am not gonna have a baby. If and only if I change my mind I can always adopt. There are millions of orphan who are in need of a good home and a loving parent. I have conquered peer pressure and needless to say, friends and family are now off my case. Its all about what works for you, forget society norms and all. At the end of the day its your life : Win or Lose it. | ||
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| Lesi on 21 Aug at 13:31 |
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| I am 24 and engaged, with life insurance, a good job and I drive myself crazy all the time! Do I get married, have a baby and settle into domestic bliss? Do I climb the corporate ladder, focus on the career and work about the rest later? Or do I just say screw it, pack my back pack and bugger off to waitress around the world? All really viable options but oh so confusing. I guess the trick is to try and do it all, but how? | ||
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| R on 21 Aug at 15:08 |
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| I'm with Lesi, Mariska and Dominique... coz I used to drive myself crazy like R who wanted to have it all sorted out... I think getting basic financial planning and paperwork sorted out is fine, but as for the rest of it... kids, rings, bonds and bills... for now, I think not!! and I'm also 27. Thankfully, my boyfriend feels the same... I also don't think I'll have biological kids, my parents will just have to live with that | ||
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| Noma on 25 Aug at 11:33 |
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| I'm 33 and I still feel like i'm about 22. I'm single, no kids and quite happy that way. i get sick of people going on about having kids and getting married. i dont need to be married to be fullfilled. i'm happy having the freedom and independance of singleness and I'm very focused on my career. i'd rather be single than be stuck with the wrong guy just coz "everyones doing it" | ||
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| k on 25 Aug at 11:34 |
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| i feel you sister big time im 26.no boyfriend who says we all have to live our lives like a pattern,because whats good to you is not necessarily for me.enjoy every second of the life you have now time will come if it does.keep your head up high you are a queen | ||
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| Angelica on 28 Aug at 16:24 |
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