Article: Mona McAlpine from Your Pregnancy magazine
Image: Ablestock

Many times have I witnessed the fear, sadness and anticipation of couples who go through procedures that are often cold, clinical and uncomfortable. Little did I know, way back then, that one day it would be my turn. It would take many operations and 8 tries before my husband and I hit the jackpot.

Kevin and I are a typical generation X couple. We waited until we were in our 30s before getting married. Then we put off having children for a bit until we settled down. After 2 years of serious trying we were not too perturbed when there was no sign of a baby. It was only after a routine visit to a gynaecologist for a pap smear, that the doctor hinted that there might be a reason for non-conception, and Kevin and I decided on fertility investigation.

Looking back, my obstetric history reads like a nightmare. Kevin and I became a manic-depressive couple – elated beyond words one day and then in the depths of despair the next. It wasn't an easy journey for either of us. Deep down I was always hopeful. And Kevin was simply marvelous; he refused to give up and would coax me to go on while supporting me each step of the way.

The long haul Our investigations started with a blood test for me, and a sperm analysis for Kevin. My tests were normal but Kevin's results showed a low sperm count. It was suggested that I have artificial insemination with Kevin's sperm and I fell pregnant. We were both on top on top of the world. We excitedly told everyone and then settled down to enjoy our pregnancy.

But disaster struck. The scan showed that our baby was growing in the fallopian tube instead of in the uterus. We were devastated. The pregnancy couldn't survive and not only did I lose our baby, but one of my fallopian tubes as well.

And as if that wasn't enough, the surgeon found fibroids in my uterus, so another operation was scheduled to remove those.

That was the beginning. What was to follow over the next five years now seems like a bad dream. After losing one of my tubes I was advised to try in vitro fertilisation (IVF), which I did. Sadly, I did not fall pregnant but I was still determined, so I tried again. The second time my pregnancy was confirmed and Kevin and I dared to hope that this time I would carry our baby to term.

But once again the ovum implanted in my fallopian tube and again I lost the baby along with the tube. That was the lowest point of our ordeal. Were we crazy to keep on trying? But we did. I had another IVF, fell pregnant again but miscarried the baby.

Success at last We kept on going and experienced three more unsuccessful IVFs. I don't know how long we would have kept on with our roller-coaster life but on the eighth try, the fertilised ovum, which was to become our very own baby boy, finally implanted. This time we were on our way. Or were we?

Ten days after implantation I started to bleed but managed to hold the baby. I spent the next three months in bed with intermittent scans which showed that the baby was doing well. By this time I was 38 years old. The question now was, should I or shouldn't I have an amniocentesis? The triple blood test at 16 weeks showed that all was well, but I was still worried in case I was carrying a Down syndrome baby. Even if the baby was one, there was no way that I was going to terminate the pregnancy, but I wanted to be prepared.

Luckily, the choice of having the amniocentesis was taken out of my hands because when I had a special in-depth scan done around the same time, a big cyst showed up on one of my ovaries, making an amniocentesis impossible. The cyst did give me pain, but it must have either burst or resolved itself, because on subsequent scans it had disappeared. Good news!

The rest of my pregnancy was uneventful. After the 20 week scan, at which we saw our beautiful baby boy as large as life, Kevin and I came home relaxed and elated. Our baby was finally delivered by elective caesarean section by our wonderful obstetrician Dr Sulaiman Heylen, on 24 April 1999. On that day, I wrote in my pregnancy journal: Was he worth it? Yes undoubtedly!

Would I do it again? Yes I would! All the years of trying and all the tears of crying, now seem far away. Determination and perseverance gave us a miracle. A gift from God.

Thank you Dr Sulaiman Heylen and Dr Klaus Wiswedel, and to Marlene and Tracey for taking care of Kevin and me and our precious baby at our most fragile of times. To our family and friends who supported us all the way, God bless you.