Article: Sam Wilson from women24
Image: Tammy Gardner

As you can tell by the heading... I am in a very silly mood. So, instead of dealing with the more serious topic of serial dating which we were planning to discuss, I am going to tell you all about the stupendously stupid names we, the Women24 team, have come across in our lives. All the examples below are people one or other of us actually KNOW.

We were hoping you would send in your favourite real life silly names too, send us an email because hey... it's one way to distract ourselves from another dreary winter's day at work.

Ready? Right.

It seems silly names fall into categories.

The (hopefully) unintentional sexual pun
While I understand how Adele Hamilton's ex-colleague Michael Hunt's parents might (just might) have made that mistake, and perhaps even Miles Long's, how did Sakkie de Kock's parents get all the way to the birth register? And Eric Shin's?

The first boy I ever went on a date with was called Nicholas Toplis. True story.

The undermining translation
Lehlohonolo is a beautiful Sotho name, which means Lucky... and often gets stuck in translation as it's easier for other cultures to pronounce, or somehow seen as cooler in English. Ever wonder how someone got a name like Happiness or Miracle? Chances are they are really named Boitumelo or Mangaliso.

The burden of circumstance
I have always pitied the Ossewanias who have to carry the yoke of the Groot Trek centenaries, but only recently have I been made aware of the Matlakalas of the world, who are literally named 'rubbish', usually because lobola has not been paid in full.

The silly married name
My friend Rose Thorne didn't hesitate before taking husband Geoff Cohen's surname, but sometimes getting married can create more problems than it solves. Like my aunt Blanche Terblanche, or Women24 Wellness editor Lauren's aunt, wait for it... Heather Pether. My own mother, Wendy Wilson, once memorably refused to buy a very nice and reasonably priced house in Wendywood, for no other reason than the alliteration.

And finally, the mean parents...
While I have never understood how Scot Scott or Johnny Johnston's parents could be that cruel, I have always been a bit suspicious of my own paternal grandparents – who named their two sons Guy and Bois (which is pronounced 'Boy'). My father, Guy, at least had a chance. When Bois came out of school on his first day, another child came racing past him through the gate to yell at his mom, "There's a new boy in our class that no one has ever bothered to give a name to! We just call him Boy!"

Ag, shame man.